The beginning of April brought an end to what I’ve been calling the Grand Silence. The past several months have been crazy, challenging, more than a little bizarre, and evolutionary–unlike any period I’ve experienced before. During the Grand Silence, I started a new blog post a dozen times, but my words lacked energy. I often dropped into meditation only to see a white tornado—the “come back later” sign in my meditative language. Only occasionally, I’d see something that gave me a context for what was happening and helped me remain (sorta kinda) patient during the unfolding.
I know many of you have experienced something similar. Maybe you’ve felt cut off in a way? At a standstill? Knowing much was changing but not knowing where to go next? There’s been a lot of this energy going around.
At one point I was shown a double highway, one stretch of highway built above the other. The lower represented my old ways of living and doing things. Old, meaning what might have been normal and appropriate the week before. The upper highway was the new way/new reality I was moving into. In day-to-day life, if I reacted and responded as I previously have (traveled the lower highway), I experienced one heck of a bumpy ride. But if I could center myself, pop back onto that upper highway, I could cover the same ground, but in a far more knowing and ease-filled way.
Life gave me repeated opportunities to practice making this kind of choice. In September my husband and I adopted a fluffy white Golden Retriever puppy. We already had three dogs, including one old yellow lab who was fast approaching his 15th birthday. It’s more than a little nutty to adopt a puppy when you have a very old dog—both require a lot of extra attention and care—but I knew this was the perfect pup at the perfect time. And he was a perfect catalyst for change.
The photo on this post, the pairing of my youngest and oldest dogs, brought so much home to me. I saw how my sweet old boy Cooper held the direction of the past and energies of the many, many years we shared. My new boy Riley held energies of potential futures we have yet to bring to form. And in this photo, facing opposite directions, they formed a canine yin/yang, fully present in the love-filled perfection of the NOW.
A big part of the Grand Silence for me was releasing more of the past, at deeper and deeper levels. The extent surprised me because I’ve been consciously letting go of the old for a long time. Even writing about it here in my blog. Regardless, things/ideas/plans/whatnots have been falling away right and left. Bam! Boom! Pow! This time, it hasn’t required as much thought or action on my part, other than going with the flow that presented itself. So much has been happening in the higher realms. The repeated prescription from my team was rest, rest more, rest again. Allow all the changes to happen and integrate as they need to. I haven’t been too good at rest, but a recent bout of pneumonia helped me polish that skill.
A couple of months ago, when I went into meditation. I saw the lower level of the double highway crumble. Disappear. The old ways, gone. No longer an option. And the remaining highway stretched far ahead above reed-filled marshland, neither land nor water, that represented new land forming at higher energetic levels. I understood that my Grand Silence needed to last a long time because I’d chosen to live and create at my leading edge. I’d chosen big at the soul level, so my physical life needed to change accordingly. And my harmonic/higher self/soul is exceedingly thorough.
I know many of you will nod at this—sooo many of us have been making the big choices. Readying ourselves and taking the big leaps. Even when it makes our physical lives, um, interesting.
Finally, in March, I saw myself leave the highway and “arrive” at my destination, my leading edge. Marking the end of the Grand Silence and this round of grand transformation. Though it felt fantastic, I also felt exhausted on multiple levels and wondered how the heck I could move forward in the way I want (and need) to. In the meditation, however, I saw that I was arriving in the loving arms of my team, my angels and helpers. Who, of course, had been with me, supporting me the entire journey. And will be there as I move forward as well.
As we’ve all heard many times, we never walk alone.
I share all this as a reminder that sometimes our growth appears to grind almost to a halt. It’s up to us to hold the knowing that what slows will eventually speed up again. And that even in the apparent silence, there’s often soooo much growth taking place in another layer of the All we are.
In my next post, I’ll share the new opportunity that’s opened for me—and really, for all of us. It’s too long to get into now, but I’ll just say it’s worth all the turmoil and tears I’ve experienced in the past few months. And then some.
I’m so grateful for this journey we share, so grateful for your presence. Many blessings.
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